In 2014, I tried something different: I made resolutions that were more like un-resolutions: sleep, eat more chocolate, run in new places. I hoped to make them fun, so I would stick to them. I did some of them, forgot about others, and never looked at the list once between the day I wrote it and the day I looked it up to link to in this post.
So when I saw Kim at Sophisticated Dorkiness posting about her One Little World project for 2015 (from Ali Edwards), I was intrigued. This, I thought, seemed like a better route for me than resolutions. This seemed like something I could do, something I could use to center my year and bring myself the focus that I've felt I've lacked recently.
In that vein, I considered selecting FOCUS as my word for 2015, but it felt too strict and too burdensome; too much like work. Which is actually what ultimately led to the the word I did choose:
I kept debating whether or not this word was right for me, at this time, in part because it carries two significant meanings: 1) the opposite of dark; and 2) the opposite of heavy. But I kept coming back to it, again and again, because ultimately, both of those meanings are want I want to center on this year: focusing on the positive, on the illuminated, on the opposite of dark, while also reducing the burdens I place on myself, allow others to place on me, and the feeling of crumbling under the weight of it all, from to-do lists to just plain ol' stuff. While I'm at it, I even want to stop wearing so much black and grey.
I want to feel light.
It was hard to find a quote that captured this duality: most of the quotes about light focus solely on light versus dark, or, less often, light versus heavy. Perhaps because so much of my own desire for lightness stems from a need to shed the idea of perfection--and because my rejection of resolutions this year comes from the same place--these lines from Leonard Cohen stood out to me:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.